One Hundred Things that Itachi would Never do
by narutofan14
Summary: Title says it all!


One Hundred Things That Itachi Uchiha Would Never Do

Sing "I feel pretty" in front of the Akatsuki

Hug Sasuke in public (fangirls wish for this to happen)

Secretly hug kittens and protest against animal cruelty

Kill Loofy and become the new main character of One Piece

Lie to Sasuke saying the real truth of the Uchiha clan's death was because Kisame dared him to

Wear a grass skirt and do the hula

Impersonate Princess Jasmine from Aladdin (in case you didn't know)

Sing "Beautiful Soul" to Kisame

Hug Tobi and say he's a good boy too

Change the clouds on the Akatsuki cloak to flowers

Be afraid of the song "Weasel Stomping Day" by Weird Al Yankovic

Read the Harry Potter series

Read the Twilight series and claim he's Edward Cullen and that Sakura is Bella Swan

Impersonate Ash from Pokémon and that Kisame is his Pikachu

Draw whiskers on his face and run around Akatsuki headquarters screaming "BELIEVE IT!"

Buy Kirby Squeak Squad ONLY to be the Ninja ability Kirby then get mad because it's not a real ninja

Go out with Hinata

Create a rampaging computer virus (codename: weasel) and have it destroy all computers in Konoha (even though there's hardly any)

Claim that Deidara and Ino are fraternal twins

Beat Pein at chess

Host a Pokémon trading card game tournament

Write a self-insert

Show up at a little kid's birthday party as a clown

Find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop (even with sharingan)

Appear in a cinnamon toast crunch commercial (even though it would be AWESOME)

Buy a naruto game ONLY to try to bring the Naruto character into the Akatsuki

Get mad because it doesn't work

Play with elefun the elephant

Take Kisame to Sea World to see his mom

Take Tobi to an aquarium and push him into the Shark tank

Notice Kisame is in there too

Bring Zetsu a Venus Fly Trap and claim it's his family

Play Kingdom Hearts to make fun of Sora's shoes

Have the actual "Eviler than you" conversation with Orochimaru

Sing "Do You like Waffles?"

Listen to Q 102

Make sasunaru fan art

ADMIT he's really a girl

Have a pillow fight with Kakashi

Host a Chibi- Rave

Walk around Konoha with his hair down saying he's Kurenai

Have a ramen eating contest with Naruto

Have a cloud staring contest with Shikamaru

Watch Potter Puppet Pals and impersonate Dumbledore

Be afraid of bubbles

Become a Power Puff Girl

Visit the Taj Mahal

Become a world-famous explorer

Work at wallmart

Buy a Sakura cosplay costume and wear it to an Akatsuki meeting

Steal all of Kakuzu's money

Buy a Zabuza sword

Ask Naruto to teach him the sexy jutsu

Become a sailor scout

Read Make-out Paradise

Curl up into a fetal position and cry for his mom

NOT have a superiority complex

Eat at McDonald's just for a Polly Pocket toy

Claim he's the Burger King

Become a cheerleader

Form a band and call their hit single "Uchiha Blues"

Make a parody of the fall out Boy song and entitled "Pros and Cons of Massacring"

Claim that Naruto is Link and he is Ganondorf and look for the all-mighty triforce

Challenge Sesshomaru to a battle

Challenge Gaara to D.D.R.

Win an 80's Dance-off

Dance to Hare Hare Yukai

Dress up in a Dorothy costume and sing "The Wizard of Oz" by Toybox

Do the Cotton Eye Joe

Slow dance with Konan

Mistake Orochimaru for a girl

Become a nurse

Run to the nearest Best Buy and say, "I'm here to order my legacy copy of Halo"

Practice his Madonna look

Play Guitar Hero 3 and Beat "Through the Fire and Flames" on expert

Goes on only to find out his warrior name is "Weaseleye"

When his phone rings he sings the Wonder Pets theme song

Attend a Back-to-School sale

Throw Sasuke a Sweet 16 in Malibu

Watch "My Big Fat Greek wedding"

Sing "Dancing Queen" to Neji

Subscribe to Nickelodeon Magazine

Tell Kakashi he's old

Admit that his Akatsuki cloak isn't manly

Be nice to a fangirl

Collect Care Bears

Go to an Anime Convention and win first prize for best costume

Play strip poker with Jiraiya

Play basketball with a balloon

Play My Sims and think the characters are cute

Be "Normal"

Play Ping-Pong with Kiba

Play Super Smash Bros. Brawl and choose Jigglypuff as his character

Buy Animal Crossing Wild World and try to massacre his "village"

Join Organization XIII

Sleep with a teddy bear named Chip

Worship Mickey Mouse

Become a Sasuke fanboy

Get through this list without killing its authors

Co-authored by Storm Midnight


End file.
